She Denied Me at the Police Station

[Shekinah Brama]

She acted like she’d never told me a thing.

Tomi* (22) and Lami* (22) met in their first year of university. Their bond was instant — the kind of friendship where secrets flowed freely, shoulders were always available to cry on, and loyalty felt like a promise carved in stone. Even when Lami entered a turbulent relationship, Tomi stayed firmly in her corner, committed to being someone she could always depend on.

In this week’s Sunken Ships, he recounts the moment that shattered that belief — a moment inside a police station that forced him to question everything he thought he understood about loyalty and friendship.

What moment made you realise your friendship with Lami would never be the same?
Sitting in a police station while two officers interrogated me, I looked across the room and saw Lami acting like she had never confided in me before. I knew in that moment that whatever we had was probably gone.

Let’s start from the beginning. How did you meet?
We met in 2021, in our first year at university. One shared class turned into long conversations, and before long, we became extremely close.

What were those early years like?
We were each other’s person. We told each other everything. I genuinely saw her as a sister, and I believed she felt the same.

Tell me about her boyfriend. What was the vibe there?
She started dating Layo* in 200 level. He initially seemed calm and caring. I even liked him at first. But that changed pretty quickly.

Why?
Because Lami confided in me… a lot. Gradually, her stories painted a disturbing picture. Layo wasn’t just controlling — he was physically abusive. She would come to me upset, scared, and confused.

Did you confront him?
No. I didn’t want him to assume she was telling people and then punish her for it.

Did you encourage her to leave?
Many times. I didn’t have much power as a student myself, but I always urged her to tell someone or walk away.

Did she try?
No. She always promised she would, but she never followed through. She made excuses for him instead.

How did that make you feel?
Helpless. I hated watching her suffer, so I stayed close so she’d at least have somewhere safe to land. Then I heard something that completely rattled me.

What did you hear?
A guy in my hostel asked if I’d heard that Layo was beating her. I was shocked. I thought only I and one other friend knew. I didn’t want to expose her, so I played it off.

Did you tell her?
Immediately. I texted her to ask if she was okay. She was more focused on the fact that the rumour was spreading.

What happened next?
The following day, I got a call that Layo was in our hostel asking questions. He even tried calling me. Before I could piece anything together, two police officers knocked on my door.

Police?
Yes. They came with Layo. They said they needed me to come to the station to clear up “a few things.”

What happened at the station?
They questioned me about the rumour — who told me, where I heard it, why I was “spreading lies.” I refused to reveal my source. While I was being grilled, our other mutual friend was also brought in because Lami had asked her about the rumour too.

Where was Lami during all this?
Right there… standing beside Layo. And acting like she had never told me anything. Like those late-night conversations never happened.

Why didn’t you call her out?
I didn’t know if she was silent out of fear. Calling her out felt like exposing her. It felt wrong — even then.

How did it end?
After hours of stress, we wrote statements. When we finally had a moment alone, my friend and I agreed not to expose Lami. Eventually, they let us go.

Did you talk to her afterwards?
Yes. I messaged her that night. She apologised and said Layo had gone through her messages and suspected we were the ones talking. But she didn’t explain why she didn’t defend us.

What happened to the friendship after that?
She withdrew completely. Stopped talking to me and the other friend. I tried reaching out, but she kept her distance, so I stepped back.

How did her withdrawal make you feel?
Betrayed. I protected her even in front of the police, but she chose him over our friendship. It hurt, but I’m over it now. I’ve moved on.

Are they still together?
Yes. The rumours are still around, but they’re still in that relationship.

Would you ever rekindle the friendship?
Honestly, no. She showed me how easily she could throw me aside. I wish her well, but I can’t trust her again. I only want friendships built on certainty — not fear and betrayal.

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