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OpenAI just snagged the crown for the world’s most valuable private company yesterday, blasting past SpaceX with a whopping $500 billion valuation. Sorry, Elon—looks like reusable rockets are so last decade. The real moonshot? AI churning out chihuahuas auditioning for Days of Our Lives.
The deal that lit the fuse: OpenAI ran a secondary stock sale letting long-haul employees (two years or more) cash out up to $10.3 billion in shares. Endgame? $6.6 billion changed hands at that shiny new $500B mark.
It vaulted OpenAI way over its old $300B tag and SpaceX’s $400B perch, while sprinkling some AI fairy dust on a jittery US market—because nothing says “bull run” like ignoring a government shutdown.
Employee high-five, minus the confetti: Think of it as the ultimate loyalty bonus. These folks stuck around through the great AI talent raid, dodging fat checks from rivals. Case in point: Meta lured ex-Apple whiz Ruoming Pang in July with a $200 million golden parachute. OpenAI? “Here’s some equity—enjoy the ride.”
And in other “wow, AI’s wild” news: OpenAI dropped the latest Sora update this week, their addictive AI video generator that’s basically TikTok on steroids (shoutout Meta’s Vibes for the inspo). Whip up clips of giraffes strutting suburbia or Sam Altman “yoinking” GPUs from a big-box store. Chef’s kiss.
They’ve baked in safeguards—no gore, no NSFW—and a quick “no thanks” button if your face pops up uninvited. But early peeks (via WSJ and NYT) reveal the feed’s already a fever dream: photoreal Pokémon battles, celebs in Third Reich cosplay.
Copyright holders? Opt out or risk your IP starring in the next viral loop, per OpenAI’s fine print. The future’s here, folks—grab popcorn, not pitchforks.
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