I remember nine year’s ago my father beat me up for going outside i was 18 or 19 then , it was my mum that consoled me back then and i felt so much better we where going through rough time cause we have to start life afresh because our home got burnt. So i did different kind of hustle and also dine with the devil with a long spoon to get back up .
during that phase of my life at that time i was going through depression, traumatic experience , failed relationship starting life all over again , burnt certificate and belongings and the rest.
This phase of my life i am at the university , I noticed I can’t even cry again no matter how hard i try , i just take things the way they are ,even if it’s the lecture being on my neck , bills to pay , sorting and textbook and all other expenses , failed relationship and the one’s I ended myself, stress , sacrificing not eaten well just to be able to pass courses. i sometimes go numb not being able to feel anything , take weed , play music , hookup . But I don’t have bad grades thanks to God. I don’t know if it ptsd or being exposed to harsh part of life repeatedly and continuously.
I tried locking myself up smoke some weed play some music just to be able to cry but I can’t.
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