Maturity is Letting Go of the Need to Be Chosen

[Precious]

Maturity is not about getting everything or everyone you want. It’s about understanding that life doesn’t always align with your plans and that the people or things you care about won’t always reciprocate. True growth comes when you stop forcing people to choose you and start accepting that their choices are theirs to make.

The Hard Lesson of Unrequited Love
There was a time I was utterly consumed by someone—a guy who, in hindsight, wasn’t meant for me. When our connection faded, I couldn’t understand why. I spent countless hours crying, questioning, and replaying scenarios, clinging to the hope that things might somehow work out.

In my desperation, I created opportunities to “accidentally” run into him, hoping for just one moment to pour out the ocean of feelings I’d kept buried. I wanted to tell him everything:

How he made me feel alive in a way no one else ever had.
How every touch felt electric.
How I cried myself to sleep countless nights after we stopped speaking.
I wanted to beg him for one more chance, believing that if he just gave me that, we could overcome anything—even the glaring incompatibilities we had from the start.

But I never got that chance—and I’m thankful for that now.

Why Forcing Love is a Mistake
Looking back, I see how unhealthy and even unsettling it was to try to control someone’s feelings or decisions. Why was I chasing after someone who didn’t choose me? Why was I begging for the bare minimum of love and attention?

Here’s the truth: No one owes us love, attention, or a place in their lives. Forcing someone to choose you doesn’t build love; it erodes trust and authenticity. Love, at its core, must be freely given—anything else is a distortion of what it’s meant to be.

The Freedom of Letting Go
Maturity is recognizing that people have the right to their own choices, even if those choices don’t include you. It’s understanding that the connection you want isn’t worth having if you have to beg, convince, or manipulate someone to stay.

By letting go, you free yourself from the constant battle of trying to prove your worth. You learn to focus on the people who choose you willingly and value you for who you are.

Choose Yourself First
The real growth comes when you stop seeking validation from others and start valuing yourself. Stand up. Stop chasing crumbs of affection. Recognize that the love you deserve will never need to be coerced or begged for.

Maturity isn’t just accepting that not everyone will choose you—it’s realizing that you don’t need them to. The right people will come into your life, and they’ll stay for all the right reasons. Until then, choose yourself. Always.

[Author]

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